never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
There's a naked man in my car right now.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
