My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar