Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.