we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..