My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
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i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
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The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.