I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend