piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died