In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
