Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
