Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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