Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
