I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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