we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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