i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
