We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
