I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
