even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
