Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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