I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
