She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
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shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
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Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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