Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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