You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
