hell yes lets make some ravioli
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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