Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
be right there i have to get my cape
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
