Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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