Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
