I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
you made out with another girl for some wings
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
