ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
