Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
