Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
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