I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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