Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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