24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
