Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
