did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
