So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
