This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
A+ Viking dick
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize
