my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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