If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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