im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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