i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
