Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Quick, to the slutcave!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
