i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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