Me. At least after what I've been through.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
