the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We left the knife in your bed.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
