I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Randomize
