wrigley field is MILF paradise
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
