The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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