the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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