I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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