My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
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what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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