haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You're like the curious george of whores
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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