you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
