how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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