I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
