It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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