found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
