Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

My girlfriend figured out who you are.

Fav 16 911 4296
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.

Fav 25 2039 6237
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(830): View more from Texas

we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient

Fav 12 1458 3841
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(207): View more from Maine

I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.

Fav 10 4264 2015
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(562): View more from California

I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.

Fav 10 3790 1130
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.

Fav 16 3806 1038
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(316): View more from Kansas

Ecstasy should be its own food group.

Fav 5 1521 1060
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.

Fav 0 43 30
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.

Fav 0 28 6
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