Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I need moral support for this bender
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
