So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
