operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
