How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
