No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
