I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
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Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
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I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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