I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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