maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
