If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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