please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
