No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
