so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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