Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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