i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
